Rockford Foodie Goes to Green Fire

So, it seems like everyone keeps bringing up this place called Green Fire that took over the Happy Joes Location. I have to say, anything that gets rid of Happy Joe's is already a winner in my book. I am surprised that Happy Joe's closed down. It seemed like one of those places that people everywhere said that they went there, that it wasn't good, but that they will probably go back. Kind of like McDonalds. Lately, whenever someone talks about going to Mcdonalds it usually starts something like "So, I was really desperate." First off guy, what situation comes up where you are so desperate for food that the only place you can eat is McDonalds? When people say I was really desperate, they really mean I was lazy and didn't give a fuck. Hey I am not judging, I recently ate at McDonalds and I was really desperate. So anyways it surprised me that Happy Joe's closed because they seemed pretty busy.

I have to admit though, when I looked at the menu online for Green Fire, I was not impressed. Everything was gumbo jumbo mumbo with some interesting meats. Not that I am a hater on this type of food, I just don't necessarily trust someone in Rockford to do it justice. Since I wasn't sure about the menu I did a spread the risk type of ordering. Spreading the risk at a restaurant means ordering a lot of food so that you are more likely to get something that you will like - yeah, I realize that I am a fatty, and even if it doesn't taste that great, I am still going to eat it. Regardless, the spreading the risk option worked at Green Fire because everything I ordered I really liked. I got a goat cheese pizza which was awesome (goat cheese, yes please), a bottle of Malbec wine which pretty much rocked (Malbec is so in by the way), a cowboy steak (although I ordered shrimp gumbo or something else, but hey the steak was great so I didn't complain), a flavored coffee (almost as good as starbucks), and a peanut butter cake (not as good as my wife's banana cream pie, but still tasty). I rate it highly and I will go back. The menu looked good and I think it has more to offer. I worry though that if I don't have a delicious bottle of Malbec accompanying me that maybe it won't be as good as I remember. As I am sure you know wine compliments a meal in ways pop, beer, and water only wish they could. Imagine going to some ridiculous vampire movie and having to watch it. Your in hell right now right? If you have a Y chromosome you know what I am talking about (where my boys at?). No imagine your watching this movie with a nice salty, buttery bag of popcorn, some sweet chocolate candy, and a nice big pop - now that sounds like a good movie to me. You probably just had your mind blown by that last analogy, so I will leave you with this. Go to Green Fire and get some Malbec!

Jury Duty and Roly Poly

I used to go to the Roly Poly on Perryville Rd across from Peak Fitness and I said to myself "finally - a place with rolled sandwiches!" I didn't even know I liked rolled sandwiches, or wraps if you are not a hipster, until I went to Roly Poly. Then something sad happened. Roly Poly closed down in Loves Park. As so many good places close down and so many Beefaroos stay open one has to ask - who are these people keeping places like Arby's and Beefaroo open? Sorry, I digress.

So, here I am, the Rockford Foodie, stuck in downtown Rockford because I was so lucky to get picked for Jury Duty. Sometimes the word lucky refers to bad luck, as in this case. Seriously, court is not cool. You know that movie where the people are in court and there is a sassy sarcastic bailiff and or judge and its dramatic, intense, and exciting (in other words, every movie that involves the legal system)? Believe it or not, court in real life is dull and boring no matter how much your friend the lawyer tells you otherwise. You may say, well maybe your case was boring, but what about something like the Casey Anthony trial? What you don't realize about that case is that it was so long, and it must have been so boring. As a juror you just sit there and listen to snarky lawyers ask the same questions over and over and you can't say a damn thing. These lawyers beat every single thing to death like a senile old man whipping a horse that has already been shot two hours ago. It took me an entire day just to get selected into the jury and it took an entire day for questioning all the witnesses.

The only good thing was that the judge gave us all a lunch break and I got to go to the downtown Roly Poly. I saw that there was a taco place down the road from the courthouse, and as I entered the food court I saw the Roly Poly. Sorry taco place, you may in fact be great, but you are no Roly Poly.  I got the Buffalo Chicken "hot pressed sandwich" (wrap) and it was amazing. These guys at Roly Poly are not messing around. Their business is making rolled sandwiches and business is good. It was as if amazing spices and flavor and fresh, crisp veggies got together for a drunken one night stand, had a baby, and then I ate that delicious baby. I give Roly Poly an 8.4/10 - Official Rockford Foodie rating.  If it wasn't all the way in downtown Rockford I might even go back there, even if I wasn't stuck on a jury.

Mashed Up Closes - More of the Same in Rockford

Rockfordians! WTF??? How is it possible that Mashed Up is closed. I wrote a great review for the place and I know that the 60 people that have at least viewed my blog may have said something to at least one other person. So that seems like at least 120 people who had a conversation similar to this -

"Have you heard of this place called Mashed Up, they serve some interesting food that isn't like everything else."
"Cool, I am looking for a great place to eat, do you want to go eat at Mashed Up today?"
"Nah, let's go to Chili's."

Seriously have you driven by a Chilis at around 6pm, its busy. Why does everyone go to Chilis and why can't Mashed Up work. Don't get me wrong, I am also to blame, I only went to Mashed Up once and I do take some responsibility for my actions (I have been to Chilis twice since I went to Mashed and I don't even like Chilis).

Maybe its because Chili's has a great marketing team. When I think about what I want to eat, if I am going out, Mashed just didn't even come to mind. So sad, so sad. Maybe Mashed needed a catchy jingle like Chilis. If anyone starts to sing "Chilllliiissss baby back ribs, Chilis baby back ribs," there will be at least 2 or 3 people come out of nowhere and chime in "with barbecue sauce," and they haven't run those commercials since 2001. They got this catchy jingle that gets more word of mouth than Here Comes Honey Boo Boo (seriously - If I hear one more guy say "I don't watch it, but my wife does," and then go on and talk for 20 minutes about how great the show is.)
One other thing that we here about some businesses is location, location, location. I know I just repeated the same word three times, but that's just what you do when you say the word location. Apparently, using it just once is not enough. I don't know who the hell started this repeating of the word location, but they need to be stopped before it catches on with other areas of life. Imagine if your boss said to you "what do you think about my new proposal" and you reply "I think it sucks, sucks, sucks." If I ever hear someone repeat any word three times like that I am going to lose it, and I am going to find this "location" guy and I will bring him to justice.
Regardless, Mashed Up didn't have a good location. You couldn't see it from State St and it was out of sight out of mind.

So now what Rockford? Are we going to rise up and promote and encourage unique eateries, or are we going to keep going to Chili's and continue to eat unlimited chips and salsa and drink cheap margaritas? (Just writing about those cheap margaritas is getting me thirsty?) I think people like the owners of Mashed Up drive around at 6 pm and see that there are a ton of people eating out in Rockford, they just couldn't find the right combination to break through the trend that is "chain restaurants." Hopefully, these brave entrepreneurs won't give on Rockford Illinois.

Rockford Foodie Goes to MashUp

The other day I heard there was a restaurant called MashUp that has been really crowded and that the food has been really good. So, I checked out the Yelp reviews and saw some mixed reviews, so I thought this was the perfect place to try out. Most places that get all great reviews are either really great, or really hyped, and I am not a fan of hype. Yes, Rockford, you hype, you hype hard, have you heard the way people talk about Stockholm Inn? I will get into this at another time.

So the first thing I notice when I get there - at around 6:30 - is that it is not crowded. The waiter tells me that there is a special for 2 dollar Old Milwaukee cans. I wouldn't call that a special, but to each his own. What does Old Mil cost when it is not on special? I think if you buy Old Milwaukee for $2 you are getting ripped off by about $1.75. Old Mil is awful. I know there is a select group of people that think Old Milly is great (for reasons unknown), but your not in college anymore so elevate your game!
For apps, we got these "Buffiyaki" chicken wings, which was a unique flavor and pretty damn good - if you like chicken wings (and who doesn't?) then you should get these. I got a TV dinner entree, as they call it, and it was pretty good. Most people thought their food was "good" or "pretty good." How the food is described in the menu is what it tastes like. For instance, I got roasted chili mashed potatoes, and it tasted exactly as it sounds -delicious.

I will likely go back to try some other things, the decor is nice, the food is inventive and different while still being "home cooking." My official Rockford Foodie rating is 7.5 - which is pretty good if I do say so myself.

Rockford Foodie in Las Vegas (Part 2)

So a group of us are in Las Vegas a few weeks ago for the March Madness tournament and we decide to have a nice dinner at a place called Spago, which I believe is a Wolfgang Puck restaurant. First off before I get into the actual meal, I have to say that I don't get the hype around these big to-do chefs. These places tend to be overrated and overpriced. You pay a price for eating at places like this, so I know that value may not be on the top of your priority list, but you should know that when you go to this that a fifty dollar entree may taste like a 25 dollar entree from some less well-known chef. Also when you go there, the waiter says everything "is to die for," (which I know in movies there is always some snobby old woman at a snooty party or fancy club who talks about chocolate cake or scallops that were to die for, but seriously, no piece of food is to die for and to say it is absurd and almost as ridiculous as saying no offense before saying something that is clearly meant to be offensive). So if you tell the waiter after you have eaten and you say the food was fine and not divine, he will start to wonder how this could be. How could someone not think that this amazing food thought up by chef so and so is not so amazingly delicious, even on a bad day this food is perfect, what is this guys problem? He will ask you why it was not perfect, and will then inquire into what genetic deficiencies that you have that you do not think this food is so damn good and this goes on for about 45 minutes (another waiter comes and talks to you about it, the hostess comes, then the manager, and sometimes the cook - all asking the same questions). So from now on, just to save time really, I tell these waiters and waitresses that its great.

Back to Spago, the food was pretty decent, I think had on of their steak specials and everything was pretty good. Did it live up to the hype????? Not really, sorry to say, but not really. Maybe I hyped it up to much in my own mind, I am a little bit more skeptical know though and hopefully won't make the same mistake for at least a couple months. Everybody else at my table thought the food was great, or so they said, and they let me try their food. 2 points here: 1st, the fact that they let me try their food and didn't want to eat every last bite tells me that they didn't really think it was that great; 2nd, the food wasn't really any better than mine. The bill came and reminded me how great the people at the restaurant thought their food really was, and when asked by the waiter, I told him the food was great. No offense Spago, but your food is not that great. I would have told you in person, but I didn't have the time.

Rockford Foodie In Las Vegas (Part 1)

Rockford Foodie made it to Vegas this year to bet on the March Mayhem, which didn't go so great, but hey its Vegas. When I was there I went to some good and some not so good restaurants. Since Vegas is, in my opinion, the number one thing that America has to offer, I figured you would like my expert opinion about places where I ate. The first place I went was called Koi in Planet Hollywood which interestingly turns into a night club at night. This place is your typical sushi/tempura joint, but it has some interesting flavors and a different atmosphere that makes the high price range (compared to Rockford) seem kind of worth it. The atmosphere involves these big fluffy couches that you sink into, which is great if you are at your buddies house drinking beer and watching the game, but not so great when you are trying to maneuver sushi and tempura with chopsticks (yeah, didn't even give the option for silverware, how presumptuous). My wife thought the chair thing was awesome though so suit, or seat in this case, yourself.

As for the food, it was pretty great. Was it $134 dollars better than Rockford's own Hachi Hachi.... debatable, very debatable. It's debatable because I don't know about you, but raw fish kind of all tastes the same. Don't get me wrong. I like sushi and know there is a difference between good sushi and great sushi, but that difference is small. Anyone that says different is pretentious (no offense if that just happens to be you, but c'mon get real).

JMK versus Shogun

So I know what you are thinking, whats the difference between JMK and Shogun? To be honest, not much, but it seems like when you ask anyone in this area they have a story and long explanation about why so and so is the better Japanese restaurant. "Well JMK has like 3 dipping sauces and Shogun only has two, and JMKs brown sauce is SOOOOOOO GOOODDD! I could eat it with ice cream!!!"

Yeah, its pretty much a soy sauce, some spiciness, and a little Japanese flavor which is pretty much how all the other sauces taste. It's good, don't get me wrong, but I am not going crazy for dipping sauces here people. You are pretty much paying for presentation/the show (don't deny it my fellow Rockfordians). I feel like these words may end my blogging career before it gets a chance to get huge because the people in this area consider their Japanese restaurants to be their one cool place that they can take their friends that are visiting from Chicago and be like "see guys, Rockford ain't so bad, look at this awesome restaurant. The guy splits an egg in mid-air with a spatula!"

In fact both guys at both restaurants will split an egg in mid-air with a spatula. They are pretty much the same, so if you feel like Japanese, then just pick one that has an open reservation. Oh, and the food is pretty good either way (Rockford Foodie Official Score = 7.1 out of 10 for each place), but beware that your coat will smell like frying oil for a good two weeks.