Rockford Foodie Goes to Green Fire

So, it seems like everyone keeps bringing up this place called Green Fire that took over the Happy Joes Location. I have to say, anything that gets rid of Happy Joe's is already a winner in my book. I am surprised that Happy Joe's closed down. It seemed like one of those places that people everywhere said that they went there, that it wasn't good, but that they will probably go back. Kind of like McDonalds. Lately, whenever someone talks about going to Mcdonalds it usually starts something like "So, I was really desperate." First off guy, what situation comes up where you are so desperate for food that the only place you can eat is McDonalds? When people say I was really desperate, they really mean I was lazy and didn't give a fuck. Hey I am not judging, I recently ate at McDonalds and I was really desperate. So anyways it surprised me that Happy Joe's closed because they seemed pretty busy.

I have to admit though, when I looked at the menu online for Green Fire, I was not impressed. Everything was gumbo jumbo mumbo with some interesting meats. Not that I am a hater on this type of food, I just don't necessarily trust someone in Rockford to do it justice. Since I wasn't sure about the menu I did a spread the risk type of ordering. Spreading the risk at a restaurant means ordering a lot of food so that you are more likely to get something that you will like - yeah, I realize that I am a fatty, and even if it doesn't taste that great, I am still going to eat it. Regardless, the spreading the risk option worked at Green Fire because everything I ordered I really liked. I got a goat cheese pizza which was awesome (goat cheese, yes please), a bottle of Malbec wine which pretty much rocked (Malbec is so in by the way), a cowboy steak (although I ordered shrimp gumbo or something else, but hey the steak was great so I didn't complain), a flavored coffee (almost as good as starbucks), and a peanut butter cake (not as good as my wife's banana cream pie, but still tasty). I rate it highly and I will go back. The menu looked good and I think it has more to offer. I worry though that if I don't have a delicious bottle of Malbec accompanying me that maybe it won't be as good as I remember. As I am sure you know wine compliments a meal in ways pop, beer, and water only wish they could. Imagine going to some ridiculous vampire movie and having to watch it. Your in hell right now right? If you have a Y chromosome you know what I am talking about (where my boys at?). No imagine your watching this movie with a nice salty, buttery bag of popcorn, some sweet chocolate candy, and a nice big pop - now that sounds like a good movie to me. You probably just had your mind blown by that last analogy, so I will leave you with this. Go to Green Fire and get some Malbec!

Jury Duty and Roly Poly

I used to go to the Roly Poly on Perryville Rd across from Peak Fitness and I said to myself "finally - a place with rolled sandwiches!" I didn't even know I liked rolled sandwiches, or wraps if you are not a hipster, until I went to Roly Poly. Then something sad happened. Roly Poly closed down in Loves Park. As so many good places close down and so many Beefaroos stay open one has to ask - who are these people keeping places like Arby's and Beefaroo open? Sorry, I digress.

So, here I am, the Rockford Foodie, stuck in downtown Rockford because I was so lucky to get picked for Jury Duty. Sometimes the word lucky refers to bad luck, as in this case. Seriously, court is not cool. You know that movie where the people are in court and there is a sassy sarcastic bailiff and or judge and its dramatic, intense, and exciting (in other words, every movie that involves the legal system)? Believe it or not, court in real life is dull and boring no matter how much your friend the lawyer tells you otherwise. You may say, well maybe your case was boring, but what about something like the Casey Anthony trial? What you don't realize about that case is that it was so long, and it must have been so boring. As a juror you just sit there and listen to snarky lawyers ask the same questions over and over and you can't say a damn thing. These lawyers beat every single thing to death like a senile old man whipping a horse that has already been shot two hours ago. It took me an entire day just to get selected into the jury and it took an entire day for questioning all the witnesses.

The only good thing was that the judge gave us all a lunch break and I got to go to the downtown Roly Poly. I saw that there was a taco place down the road from the courthouse, and as I entered the food court I saw the Roly Poly. Sorry taco place, you may in fact be great, but you are no Roly Poly.  I got the Buffalo Chicken "hot pressed sandwich" (wrap) and it was amazing. These guys at Roly Poly are not messing around. Their business is making rolled sandwiches and business is good. It was as if amazing spices and flavor and fresh, crisp veggies got together for a drunken one night stand, had a baby, and then I ate that delicious baby. I give Roly Poly an 8.4/10 - Official Rockford Foodie rating.  If it wasn't all the way in downtown Rockford I might even go back there, even if I wasn't stuck on a jury.